Helping a friend, family member or loved one after a traumatic event

Jun 19, 2023

Dr Ros Lethbridge, Senior Clinical Specialist, Phoenix Australia – the Australian National Centre of Excellence in Posttraumatic Mental Health, University of Melbourne

Last year for PTSD Awareness Day I wrote an article discussing how people can develop posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), its signs and symptoms, and effective treatments. If you missed it last year, that article is linked here. This year I thought it might be helpful to consider how you can support a friend, family member, or loved one after they have experienced a traumatic event. 

Traumatic events involve situations that are either life-threatening or have the potential for serious injury, such as physical or sexual assault, disaster, war or a serious accident.

Most people will experience at least one of these types of events during their lives. After a traumatic event, many people experience strong feelings of fear, sadness, guilt, anger, or grief. They might find it hard to cope and it might take a while to come to terms with what has happened. These feelings will usually become less intense after a few weeks. The support of family and friends is particularly important during this time. This article will provide you with some ideas of things you can do to help.

Provide Practical Support
After someone has been through a traumatic experience, re-establishing a normal routine can help to restore a sense of order and control in their life. Some of the ways you can help them return to their normal routine include:
  • Recognise that they have been through an extremely stressful event and may need time and space to deal with it. You can help them to find that time and space by providing practical support, such as offering to take care of the kids or do the weekly shopping.
  • Encourage them to limit their exposure to media coverage of the event. You might offer to keep track of the news and inform them of new or important information so that they don’t feel the need to monitor it continuously.
  • Encourage them to look after themselves by getting plenty of rest, eating well, exercising regularly, making time for relaxation and cutting back on coffee, cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol.
  • Join them in doing enjoyable things and encourage them to plan to do at least one enjoyable thing each day. You may need to help the person come up with ideas of things they can do, for example, ask what activities they used to enjoy before the traumatic event.
  • Acknowledge their achievements. Sometimes it’s hard to see that things are improving, and the person may need you to point out when they have achieved a goal, no matter how small.
  • Encourage them to seek professional help if they are still finding it hard to cope more than two weeks after the traumatic event. Their GP is a good first point of contact.

Provide Emotional Support
Your friend, family member or loved one may or may not want to talk about their experience or feelings. If they do want to talk, the following tips may be helpful:
  • Choose a time to talk when you won’t be interrupted, or feel rushed or tired.
  • Provide reassurance that distress is to be expected after an experience like theirs.
  • Understand that talking about trauma can be painful and the person may get upset. This is a natural part of coming to terms with their experience. Don’t feel that you have to make their distress go away.
  • Make another time to talk if it seems like the person is too distressed to continue.
Listening is very important, but it can sometimes be hard to know what to say. Don’t worry about saying ‘the right thing’. There is no right thing to say, but here are a few pointers:
  • Try to put yourself in their shoes, don’t interrupt or offer examples from your own life, or talk about yourself.
  • Avoid offering simple reassurances such as, “I know how you feel” or “You’ll be OK”.
  • Acknowledge their distress with statements like, “It’s really tough to go through something like this”
  • Show that you understand by re-phrasing the information they give you. Try starting with something like, “You seem really…”, “It sounds like…”, “Did I understand right that you…”, “No wonder you feel…”
If they don’t want to talk, you can still show your support by spending time with them, talking about other things, and doing practical things to help. Let them be alone for a while if that’s what they want, but encourage them to have company for some time each day. Social connection is important for recovery. 
And of course, don’t forget to look after yourself! Looking after friends, family and loved ones impacted by trauma can be stressful and tiring, and you may need to consider taking time to look after your own health and wellbeing. 

Useful resources
The Australian Guidelines for the Prevention and Treatment of Acute Stress Disorder, PTSD and Complex PTSD provide evidence-based recommendations that promote recovery following trauma, as well as effective treatment options for people who develop PTSD and other posttraumatic mental health conditions. A helpful summary of the recommended psychological treatments that have found to be effective to treat people with PTSD can be found here.

If you are interested in training in supporting people to recover from psychological trauma, Phoenix Australia offers a practical Psychological First Aid course

28 Jun, 2023
Have you heard of the saying that “It is only with gratitude that life becomes rich?” In the hustle and bustle of daily life, we often forget to express our gratitude for the blessings and experiences that surround us. However, taking time to express gratitude can have a profound impact on our mental well-being. In this blog post, we will explore the importance of expressing gratitude and how it contributes to our overall mental health and happiness. Acknowledging the Good and Strengthening Positive Relationships Expressing gratitude involves actively acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of our lives. It encourages us to focus on what we have rather than what we lack. By verbalizing or expressing our gratitude, we create space for positive emotions to flourish. When we express gratitude, we shift our focus from what is lacking to what we already have, nurturing a sense of contentment and happiness. Moreover, gratitude acts as a catalyst for building and nurturing positive relationships. When we express gratitude to others, whether through kind words, gestures, or acts of appreciation, we strengthen the bond between us. It fosters a sense of connection, empathy, and understanding, which contribute to our overall well-being. Amplifying Positive Emotions and Cultivating Optimism and Resilience When we express gratitude, we amplify positive emotions within ourselves and those around us. Sharing our appreciation allows us to relive joyful moments and enhances our overall happiness. Moreover, the act of expressing gratitude creates a positive ripple effect, uplifting the spirits of others and fostering a positive atmosphere. Expressing gratitude helps us cultivate an optimistic mindset. By focusing on the positive aspects of our lives, we train our minds to seek out the good, even in challenging situations. This optimistic outlook enables us to develop resilience and navigate through adversity with greater strength and determination. Reducing Stress and Anxiety While Enhancing Self-Worth Gratitude has a remarkable ability to reduce stress and anxiety. When we express gratitude, we shift our attention away from worries and negative thoughts, redirecting our focus towards the present moment and the things we appreciate. This practice helps alleviate stress, promotes relaxation, and enhances our overall mental well-being. Expressing gratitude extends beyond others; it also involves acknowledging and appreciating ourselves. By recognizing our strengths, achievements, and the progress we have made, we boost our self-worth and self-esteem. Engaging in self-care practices and expressing gratitude for our bodies, minds, and abilities nurtures a positive self-image and contributes to our mental well-being. Incorporating Gratitude into Daily Life Expressing gratitude can be incorporated into our daily routines in various ways. It can be simple as saying “thank you” to someone who has helped us or writing a heartfelt note of appreciation. Journaling about the things we are grateful for, practising gratitude meditations, or engaging in gratitude exercises with loved ones are all effective methods to integrate gratitude into our lives. My favourite gratitude exercise is that every night after dinner, I think of at least one thing that happened during the day that I am grateful for. Sometimes it might be as simple as eating my favourite cheesecake, but these little things matter a lot in keeping ourselves positive and building a healthy mindset. Cultivating a practice of gratitude has the power to transform our mental well-being. By embracing gratitude, we shift our focus from negativity to positivity, fostering happiness, resilience, and improved mental health. Let's embark on this journey of gratitude and allow its transformative power to enrich our lives, one thankful moment at a time. By Priya Saikia
20 Jun, 2023
As winter casts its icy spell upon us, it is not uncommon to experience a sense of melancholy and fatigue commonly known as the “winter blues.” The shorter days, longer nights, and colder temperatures can take a toll on our mood and our overall well-being. Last year, I was deeply affected by the winter blues during my entire year-long experience of winter. In 2021, while in my home country, the chilliness began early in October and by the end of the month, winter had set in. Shortly after, in February 2022, I arrived in Melbourne, where the days were already becoming cold. The frigid Antarctic winds were completely new to me, and it was far from being a pleasant experience. To make matters worse, summer didn’t arrive in Melbourne until November, leaving me with a full year of winter. It was a truly challenging time, especially considering my fondness for the summer season. It was during that time that I found out about seasonal affective disorder (SAD) during winter, also known as winter depression or winter blues. However, I refused to give up or succumb to the gloomy grip of the season. If you struggle with winter blues like me then luckily for us, there are several ways in which we can fight this and embrace the joys that this chilly season can offer. Embrace Natural Light With the days growing shorter, it’s crucial to maximize exposure to natural light. Open your curtains or blinds during the day to let in as much sunlight as possible. Very often, I would keep my blinds open even during the night so that I wake up to the beautiful sun shining right through my window. If feasible, take a walk outside during daylight hours to soak up some vitamin D and release some serotonin, which can significantly boost your mood and energy levels. Stay Active Another way I kept myself from succumbing to the gloomy days was by staying active. Physical activity is a proven mood booster and can help combat the winter blues very well. Engaging in regular exercise help release those feel-good endorphins, which can help alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety. I started playing tennis last winter and it helped me so well in brightening my days. I even continued my yoga practice, and I often made my friends practice with me. It is such a simple way of fighting the winter blues by just finding an activity you enjoy, whether it is joining a gym, practising yoga, dancing, or simply taking brisk walks in the crisp winter air. Not only will exercise enhance our overall well-being, but it will also keep us warm and energized during the colder months. As the saying goes; two birds, one stone. Don’t Forget to Socialise Winter often tempts us to hibernate indoors, but this is something we must fight against. Isolation can worsen feelings of sadness and loneliness, which is why making a conscious effort to stay connected with loved ones will help us against these gloomy feelings. Plan social activities such as movie nights, game evenings, or hotpot dinners with friends and family. If physical gatherings are not possible, utilize technology to connect virtually. Regular social interactions can provide a much-needed boost to your emotional well-being and create lasting memories. Back in my hometown in Assam, we have this beautiful culture of going to picnics during the daylight hours and gathering around a bonfire after dark every single day with our friends and family. This is one of the reasons why winter never felt gloomy in Assam, social interactions and the amazing memories made winters absolutely beautiful. Winter Activities Furthermore, every season has distinct activities that cannot be enjoyed in other seasons. Likewise, winter too has heaps of unique opportunities for enjoyment. Embrace the charms of this chilly season by participating in winter activities. Go skiing, build snowmen, have a snowball fight, or go sledding. Additionally, do not forget to relish the pleasures of winter cuisine, such as sipping lots of hot chocolate by the fireplace or indulging in comforting soups and stews. While winter blues may seem inevitable, it is important to remember that we have the power to overcome them and find joy even during the coldest months. By embracing natural light, staying active, nurturing social connections, and embracing winter activities, you can transform the winter season into a time of warmth, happiness, and rejuvenation. So, let us say goodbye to the winter blues and welcome the beauty and wonder that this beautiful season brings. Remember that winters might not be easy, but we can make it worth it. Blog by: Priya Saikia
19 Jun, 2023
This article discusses how people can develop posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), its signs and symptoms, and effective treatments. What is trauma? Any event that involves exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or violence has the potential to be traumatic. Traumatic events are common, and most people will go through at least one traumatic event in their lives. Such events can include natural disaster, war, a serious accident, physical or sexual assault. In Australia, the most common traumatic events are: having someone close to you die unexpectedly seeing someone badly injured or killed, or unexpectedly seeing a dead body being in a life threatening car accident In the first days and weeks after a traumatic event, people often experience strong feelings of fear, sadness, guilt, anger, or grief. Generally, these feelings will resolve on their own, and with the support of family and friends, the person recovers. However, if the distress continues, it may mean that the person has developed PTSD or another mental health condition. What is PTSD? Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a set of reactions that can develop after someone has been through a traumatic event. A person with PTSD has four main types of difficulties: Re-living the traumatic event – through unwanted memories, vivid nightmares, flashbacks, or intense reactions such as heart palpitations or panic when reminded of the event. Feeling wound up – having trouble sleeping or concentrating, feeling angry or irritable, taking risks, becoming easily startled, or constantly being on the look-out for danger. Avoiding reminders of the event – activities, places, people, thoughts or feelings that bring back memories of the trauma. Negative thoughts and feelings – feeling afraid, angry, guilty, flat, or numb a lot of the time, losing interest in day-to-day activities, feeling cut off from friends and family. Between 5 and 10 percent of Australians will experience PTSD at some point in their lives. It is not unusual for people with PTSD to experience other mental health problems like depression or anxiety. Some people may develop a habit of using alcohol or drugs as a way of coping. What treatments are available? If you are still experiencing problems two weeks after a traumatic event, it is worth talking to your GP or a mental health professional to assess how you are going and to see if treatment would be helpful. Effective treatments for posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are available, and include counselling, medication, or a combination of both. These treatments can work even if your traumatic experience was a long time ago. The Australian Guidelines for the Prevention and Treatment of Acute Stress Disorder, PTSD and Complex PTSD provide evidence-based recommendations that promote recovery following trauma, as well as effective treatment options for people who develop PTSD and other posttraumatic mental health conditions. A helpful summary of the recommended psychological treatments that have found to be effective to treat people with PTSD can be found here. Other useful resources Recovery after Trauma – A Guide for People with Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Dealing with Trauma – A Guide for Young People who have Experienced Trauma Helping my Children after Trauma – A Guide for Parents
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